Mixed vs Little Deers Mixed

Dear George, I am sorry that we had different recollections on how your goal came about last week. I simply don't remember you skinning every member of their team, twice, then tomahawking the ball into the roof of the net one handed whilst drinking a cup of tea. Oh well in the below paragraphs I will endeavour to provide our readers with an accurate reflection of your contribution this week.

 This week we welcomed back Mobbsy into the midfield plus debuts for Stephanie, Amelie and Henry - these might actually not be mixed team debuts but they are for when I have been playing so I think I'll call them debutants (debutantes? Need to spell check that one).

 We were slightly short on manpower this week, and before someone kicks off and says "ahem it's a mixed team I should say playerpower" you are wrong - the female contingent showed up in force and we had a substitute for rotating and keeping the pace high. I was being accurate, we had no male sub: Durbs was watching reruns of eurovision, Ollie's hurty leg still not recovered, who knows where Reedy is, and George dedicated the evening trying to hack teamo in order to "correct" last week's match report.

We faced "Little Deers" a name which is just linguistically wrong. The plural of Deer is Deer, I get what they're trying to do with a Hart/Stag on the Blueharts crest etc and make it a jovial summerleague type name BUT it's akin to naming your team "Little Sheeps". Anyhoo, the "Deers" have been winning quite a bit in this league, and the fact they cheated and went for a team jog around the cricket pitch begs the question "do they know what summer league is all about?"

 The first quarter was evenly matched. Deers got really lucky with a shot from a shortcorner that deflected over a diving Panda in goal. And then on the stroke of quarter time they naughily scored a second.

Quarter time Deers 2 - 0 Harps

The second quarter we rallied. Co-captain Coley (who, bravo, is taken over the Head Coach role of our fantastic U10 boys section) showed some movement in midfield. Captain Yas was solid as ever at left back, and yet were unfortunate to conceded another.

Half Time Deers 3 - 0 Harps

The half time team talk consisted of Mobbsy commenting we need some structure and perhaps a visualising of the formation. Co-Captain Coley decides to tell us new positions, something about windscreens or showerscreens and go and get on with it. We were a bit ineffectual at breaking down the play again and conceded a third. Boypower was depleted further as JT limped off with a strain to his lower-mid calf (as Ross from Friends stated, the more muscle you have the likelier it is to spasm out of control).

Three-quarter time Deers 4 - 0 Harps

Fortunately this meant we were at full girlpower as if it were 1997 and the spice girls are in their pomp. The visualisation of formation came to fruition as Mobbsy described what a screen was, I understood to take the role of "left croc".

The formational shift, as well as understanding of the formation, plus Panda excelling in goal as he was called upon a number of times, and JT being off the pitch (no correlation here I'm sure), meant we were holding our own and shutting out the Deers attacks. We were more competitive in midfield too which proved a launchpad for Kelsey and Lily to supply our forward line of Jason and Henry upfront.

And were we close to nicking a couple of coals, both Henry and Jason had shots off but unfortunately the Little Deer in goal stood as tall and strong as 18point stag.

Full time Deers 4 - 0 Harps

Player of the Match - Mobbsy

Champagne Moment - Panda's save, the Deers striker even said "that's a bloody good save fella"

Clubperson of the Week - Kelsey for organising new shirts

The small print: JT wasn't actually off in the fourth quarter, I just like using an element of artistic licence.