Mens 1 vs Potters Bar 1

Yes yes I'm sorry there was no match report last week. I happened to be watching Harry Potter and the Cursed Child during my normal report writing hours. What happened I hear you ask? Well it's all about time turners, Harry and Malfoy's sons are best buds, and Ginny is still the most annoying character ever to have been written. Oh you meant in the game? we won 5-2, forwards smashed it.

This week we faced Potters Bar, a team we fancied our chances against. Regulars were missing: Kimberley was getting his hair done, Singer was not. Mark is fit but in New Zealand. Dom has a hurty groin, claiming he can't accelerate - I just said you're like the rest of us now! Still this gave us the opportunity to call up Messrs Steele, Turner and K.

The usual stern faced, very serious, tactical pre-game analysis was disrupted by some of the clubs' Junior U8s. Future first teamer Ben Steele was quite happy sitting and listening, Marcy Rees was more interested in have a conversation with Durbs and Todd, and Lulu Rees ended up wearing Elvis' helmet. I managed to hear the gist which was "play with intensity, chuck aerials".

As the game started some of us in defence appeared to hear the instruction of "if under pressure then the absolutely best thing you can do is play the ball towards your own goal"... the resulting pressure yielded short corners. The first of which Potters Bar deployed a blocker meaning Rob Walker was obstructed from challenging for the ball. We let the umpire know. The second short corner i rather enjoyed as a PB striker decided to try and obstruct me, now 25yrs ago I was a half decent outside centre and I can move with a bit of momentum. (n.b. momentum = mass * velocity, you only need one of those to be high), the poor lad meekly complained to the umpire "uh, he just ran into me", the umpire rolled his eyes...

I subbed off. Dom told me I came off too early. Potter Bar scored. We really need to figure out this whole pass it towards our own goal strategy.

PB 1 - 0 Harps

We were operating below our potential, we needed a spark, an attack down the left, a shot fired at the keeper loops high into the air, in charges Charlie Moxham with his best Shohei Ohtani impression to baseball the shoulder high ball home.

Half time PB 1 - 1 Harps

Dom had three bullet points for us at half time. I focused on the squashies.

Rob Walker used his face to stop the ball being cleared by the goal keeper, quite some commitment that is fella. Tough guy though, came back on to the pitch, then after the game in a very unselfish manner went home, put the kids to bed, made a gourmet dinner for the wife, and unloaded the dishwasher before rocking up to A&E for glue and stitches.

We needed to get ahead. According to Henry, he "solo dribbled through the entire Potters Bar team in a length of the field effort, then nutmegged the keeper". Alternative facts suggest he scored from a yard at a short corner, assisted by Todd.

PB 1 - 2 Harps

Our attacks and pressure continued. A save from the PB keeper fell to Todd who rifled it past the keeper's earlobe.

PB 1 - 3 Harps

I subbed off, PB scored. In the words of my favourite Gladiator 'Legend': "there's no I in team, but there are 5 in individual brilliance" - but if you've been keeping track, we're 3-0 up when i've been on the pitch.

Full Time: Potters Bar 2 - 3 Harps

George was on the pitch.

Dom came into the midfield Danny went to right back, Rob into the middle, Todd ran a lot, Charlie K still has Whooping Cough. Steeley was very happy playing with us and not for the 2s against Potters Bar 3s who, apparently, have a striker who trains with the India national team.

A result where we could have played better, but we secured the win!